Well now my son is saying he doesn't want to increase his meds. I'm beyond frustrated with him. He is not well. And he bought weed! He had his first psychotic break from smoking weed. It just makes him paranoid, I don't know why he likes it. I think he wants to be like his peers. Lots of kids his age smoke it. And it's legal here, so...He has access to my money. That's how he buys stuff. And we're broke so its just really frustrating. I don't know what to do. My family is like, take him to the hospital, but I cant make him go, and he feels like nothing's wrong. Its exhausting.

Yesterday I almost had a panic attack. I took my meds and it went away. I'm hoping that continues. I was talking to my friend and it just came over me. I was so scared! I despise panic attacks. I found some old trileptal, I think I'm gonna try it and see if helps with anxiety too. I know I should get my pdoc's permission but he only works on Fridays and it's hard to get in to have an appointment with him.

Anyway, I hope everyone is doing at least ok. Hugs to those struggling. Xx