Sorry if this is in the wrong forum or has been asked about before, but I feel like this is a big underlying problem for me.
Like, I really like most of my family, but I don’t feel strongly attached to them and knowing this makes me feel guilty. How can you know people for years, nearly your whole life, and still feel like you could walk and not look back?!
I was fostered then later adopted by my parents from just over 2 years old; I read recently that the jury is out when it comes to whether adoption has an effect on your relationships, and I do agree to an extent, now that I think about it. Some adoptees have very strong emotional ties to their adoptive families - it does make sense to me; blood ties aren’t the be all and end all of what makes a family.
I’ve been told (by a bio sibling - who I didn’t even know existed and was allowed to look for, then introduce themselves to me IN PERSON without my knowledge/permission!!) that my mum had post natal depression. I only know that I was neglected and it wasn’t safe for me to return, in the end, so a two week foster care placement turned into 35 years. I have vague memories of being with her but not positive ones.
I’m guessing she would have been my primary care giver at that time, but I have so little information about what was going on I don’t even know if other family were trying to step in or what. I do feel I’d like to know, but I’m not sure where I’d start looking, if it is even recorded anywhere.
Bottom line is, is there anything I can do to change how I feel? Would some kind of therapy benefit me here? I’m totally preparing myself to read answers like Rox, you’re looking at things wrong, the solution is so simple you’re overlooking it I know it’s not but I’m not sure whether or not I’m overthinking it and I’m not actually beyond help!