Just trying to process my bad therapy experiences, hope it’s ok to post.

Across the room you sit in your chair
I’m anxious and nervous wondering if you will care.
I sit in silence waiting for you to start
Not realising this process would break my heart.
The walls around me built so high
Can’t even bring myself to look you in the eye.
No tears can fall I cannot cry
Or tell you how much I want to die.
But you try to build trust by being gentle and kind
Slowly encouraging me to share what’s on my mind.
You’re patient and understanding when my words hide
Maybe you are the person I need on my side.
We begin to talk about my pain and despair
And how this world is too much to bare.
You make me feel safe and like it’s ok to explore
Everything that has hurt me and gone before.
But then all of a sudden you walk away without a care
Rejected and abandoned, my worst nightmare.
I blame myself for being so worthless and bad
For believing you cared about the relationship we had.
Broken and bereft I don’t know what to do
Why did I ever begin to trust you?
Worse than ever is the hurt and pain
How the f**k did I let this happen again?