Thank you, it is pretty frustrating. It’s really nice you and your T can say I love you and for everything to be ok. Honestly I am a bit surprised at my Ts reaction around it all. I thought he could say it and make it clear he doesn’t want anything to do with me romantically.

The only answer I have in my head is...he doesn’t and can’t say he loves me, because he does not love me and doesn’t want to lie. Being unlovable is a massive thing for lots of us I know, definitely me, this has reinforced the whole I’m an unloveable monster thing. It’s really nice to read everyone’s replies here though and that you don’t think I am a monster.