I wish he had explained to you why he felt hugging you was too risky rather than leaving you to guess. I understand that therapists may hug some clients and not others for a whole variety of reasons, but telling you just doesn't sit right with me. I'm sorry you're left feeling so bad about yourself due to all this but there's nothing wrong with you for having these feelings and needs, truly there isn't.

I'm glad he has helped you a lot, that really is the important thing. I completely understand that you don't want to mention a lot publicly. There's a lot I don't say about my T relationship for the very same reasons. What I've learnt from my experiences is that what may sound wrong or inappropriate to other people doesn't necessarily mean it is. I think most people get the sense on an intuitive level when something isn't right or working for them. There are many ways therapy can work and it takes self-honesty and courage to explore whether it is or not.