Hi I know I'm a bit late to the party (just recently joined), but I wanted to let you know I am grateful for this thread because I have felt similarly for a long time. In my personal experience I recognise that something could be there (a traumatic event), but I find it hard to accept that I'll truly never know for sure whether the event happened (and to what extent) or whether it's an exaggeration or fallacy of my anxious imagination. Therefore, I considered therapies such as EMDR and hypnosis as possible methods of trying to remember with more clarity exactly what happened. But this event to me is like Pandora's box... sometimes I feel tempted to open it in the hopes that I'll reach a resolution and stop coming back to it thinking 'what if', while at other times I realise that opening that box will be extremely distressing - and once opened, there's no going back.

It's not something to be considered lightly, so I think the fact that you're showing considerate thought about it means that you take it seriously enough. Whether you decide to seek help or not is entirely up to you, and I think you will know when or if the time is right. It is within your right to explore help and stop seeking it at any time, should you wish to do so. This is very sensitive and something to be taken on your terms, so patience from both yourself and the therapist is required.

I did engage in talking therapy (counselling) for over a year, and I did disclose my possible PTSD, but my counsellor was respectful and didn't push me beyond my boundaries so we didn't make any progress on it because I either actively avoided it when questioned about it or chose to focus on other aspects of my life. I guess I wasn't ready and I didn't trust my counsellor enough. However, I did learn some grounding techniques from my counsellor when focussing on my generalised anxiety, which can come in handy when experiencing any form of anxiety. I made the decision to stop therapy recently due to financial anxiety and impatience with progress, but it would be wise to remember that progress is as fast or slow as you let it be.

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do!