I wish I had some suggestions for you. Well... I guess I do have one. It's the Buddhist practice called "compassionate abiding". And it's my go-to practice for intrusive thoughts, compulsions, & other troublesome things in my life. It's not a cure. But it is a way of dealing with thoughts, urges, etc. that bother me.

Basically what I do is to simply allow the thought to be there (because it already is.) I breathe into it & perhaps smile to it. I may even place a hand over my heart as a sign of acceptance & compassion for whatever it is that is troubling me. And then I just allow the thought to fade at it's own pace (which doesn't generally take long because my mind is always leaping from one thing to another.) Here's a link to a mental-health-oriented description of the practice:

Relieve Distress By Allowing It: Compassionate Abiding 101 | Mindset: Perspective Is Everything

Let me just add however that if the things you listed in your post are the worst you've done, from my perspective as a truly bad person, you haven't even gotten off to a good start yet. But I don't mean to belittle how you feel about the things you mentioned. My personal non-professional opinion would be though that how you feel about the things you did has more to do with depression & perhaps low self-esteem than it does true badness. Here are links to 2 articles, from PC's archives, that (hopefully) may be of some help:

Breaking Free from the Bonds of Badness

How to Stop Punishing Yourself