First off, if it were any other T, would you have accepted her response? Whether male or female?

Good question... I don’t think I would tolerate that answer from T1 so I am thinking no.

From reading your posts, sometimes it feels to me that you're doing this because T1 thinks it might be a good idea. And in that case, I'd opt to either search a new secondary T or continue work with just this one.

I am thinking it might be best to just go back to T1

I think it's good she responded how she'd naturally respond. You CCd her on it, to me that seems like you'd want her response. And in that case, she has to be authentic. If a T knows you well, they might act differently, they might know that right now you need to just vent. But she doesn't know you well and will act the way her gut tells her to is best for you. In some ways, it might even be good for you to get triggered, because the 'normal' response would be to feel better when receiving empathy. In a more advanced therapeutic relationship, I could see it help a lot to discover why you feel triggered rather than good. But of course it's hard when the relationship is still very new and unstable.

I was hoping to warn her it would be a trigger... it backfired.

Finally, I think them not ever contradicting each other will be hard. While T1 is her supervisor, they don't just discuss your case in those meetings and she most probably has not read all your files. She is most probably getting to know you on her own terms. So it's only natural that she will sometimes act differently from what T1 would deem best, no two humans are the same.