Oh Elio, thank you. T1 has responded to one of my emails but I think he is reading them out of sequence because his reply makes no sense what so ever. The first blow up with T2 we established was me feeling my boundary was violated... I clearly stated in that exchange that I was triggered and needed to step away and she asked again for me to do what was triggering me. T1 never wants me to feel pressured by him in any way. T1 wants me to tell him if he hurts me or does something that makes me uncomfortable so he can stop. He said both of those the very first session and kept putting them out there until he trusted me to tell him. From the first session T1 has been all about containing things so as not to reinforce trauma neuro pathways. T2 is very much about express emotions!!!! We’ve only had two sessions. She has no clue my level of trauma or my reactions.

As for T2 I am trying really hard not to tell her what to do. But giving a heads up that hey this approach is going to cause problems? I thought it would be helpful to know and would get a more responsive reply especially from a woman. Granted she is naturally a very warm, bubbly, nurturing, girlie girl... golden retriever puppy? Her actual response was Omers, “Thanks for the heads up. I think I will just be myself and see how that goes. ” (cut and pasted in its entirety).

As for women... I grew up in NY where I didn’t have much problem with women, it is a more gender equal state and tends to be more blunt. There are several female T’s that write on public platforms that I think I would do great with BUT they are NOT from the US and clearly are culturally different. I currently live in the Midwest and the female culture is different. These women are like cotton candy toppings on a double strength Koolaid float. OMG the nurture-y, warm fuzzy, sympathy crap gives me the emotional equivalent of a toothache on good days... actually I think when I had a root canal and none of the Novocain worked it was more welcoming.
ok, visual...

T1 surrounds me with security, safety, boundaries and acceptance and says “when you feel safe”.

T2 oh, show me the feels! What would the feels look like!! Can we make the feels more feel-y?!!! Can we make the feels brighter and more fluid?!! Oh the feels are really beautiful! (Yes, seriously... and it was a picure about CSA... yes, I’m an artist but... can we show *some* sensitivity to the CONTENT???)

I know me. I know I can blow up physically or intellectually and really do some damage. I am trying SO hard to make this work because T1 thinks it would be good for me. T1 knows her very well and is her supervisor.

My two closest friends one is non-gendered (which having known them forever I can say neither gender norm fits them) the other is MTF. The other women I do well with typically come from “old world” cultures, strong survivalist backgrounds or something similar... not the mani pedi and get our hair done every week sort.