It sounds like you have already given up, "beyond what is possible" for you. You haven't really ever depended on yourself for much I don't think. If you could make a step forward, just out of your comfort zone, it would unlock all kinds of choices and possibilities beyond what you currently think. I hate to sound like a broken record but you really do need to cultivate independence to move forward, starting small steps.

Have you ever wanted to buy a car? I've never owned one but cars made a lot of difference in my life when I was young. For me, feeling independent made me climb higher like a chain reaction.