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Old Sep 05, 2020, 07:38 AM
Soupe du jour Soupe du jour is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2015
Location: Czechia
Posts: 5,172
I can relate to much of what others wrote above. Luckily I haven't had a mixed bipolar state for quite a while, but my very worst episodes included them.

Similar to what one poster wrote, mine usual leaned more in the manic direction. With that, I had all of the high energy and most of the manic symptoms down the line, but also usually frustration and desperation. Often I would feel severely overwhelmed by the experience, which caused the latter two mentioned. It was only during mixed states that I would potentially be prone to injuring myself in some way. I do not cut, like some do, but at the worst I will hit myself violently, slap or punch walls, throw things, scream/rant, become so rageful/rammy that I inadvertently fall, get bruises, twist my ankle, or the like. Psychosis can be common for me in mixed states. I have a tendency to talk to myself or rant out loud in public, or even pick fights. One time I was in such a mood state that I attempted to run down a steep hill. That didn't work out so well. Lesser mixed states are similar, just not as extreme.

When my mixed states have leaned more in the depression direction, that often when I have more suicidal ideations. I have the energy and lack of inhibition, but the deep hopelessness and desperation.

Though I know it is common for some, I don't tend to switch from elated to desperately depressed quickly during a day or week. I tend to experience simultaneous manic and depressive symptoms. Obviously not all from both lists, simultaneously, but some from both. The severity or sheer number of symptoms seems to determine which way I'm leaning (IOWs manic w/mixed features, hypomanic w/mixed features, or depressed w/mixed features). This way of referring to them is from the DSM-5. I rather like it because it applies best to my mixed experiences.
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