I also want to add, if your family puts education above all else, and your sister dropped out, she is probably fearful that NONE of you (your parents or you her brother) will respect her for her own life choices as an adult. There are families who will single out the black sheep (the person who doesn't follow the family's preplanned guidelines for them) and shame and threaten them with family alienation if they don't comply to the family system's preplanned path for them.

If your parents are anti-gay and your sister is gay, she's probably hiding it. She's probably working 2 jobs to save so she can move out and get away from you three b/c she perceives her independence as being threatened by all of your expectations and judgments for her and against her. I don't know your family system dynamics, so this is all conjecture.

But as a black sheep myself, I did not follow my family system's path like my other siblings did and was shunned and shamed for it.

If you truly respect your sister and want a healthy relationship with her you will have to accept her for who she is. You will have to meet her where she's at. You cannot, as her brother, impose your belief system on her to shame her for her choices. That is not your right to do so.

She's probably pulled away from you and your parents because she feels alienated already. If she has dropped out of school, will your parents kick her out of their house? Will they threaten her? That could be one reason.

A college student named Jennifer Pan, hid her true life from her parents. They told her she had to become a doctor. She was more athletic than academic and was an ice skating champion.

She was going to participate in the olympics but a knee injury changed her life's trajectory. So, her parents gave her an ultimatum: you either go to school to become a doctor or a pharmacist, get straight A's and live at home, or you are cut off from us forever.

Jennifer's brother went to an ivy league school and got a degree in mechanical engineering. Jennifer dropped out of college, but forged her grades as straight A's because her parents demanded to see her grades.

She created a double life for herself; straight A pharmaceutical school student meanwhile she was living w/a drug dealer boyfriend and was not going to pharmaceutical school. Eventually, she snapped at 24 years old and her now-ex boyfriend gave her the phone # of two felonious convicts who she paid $2400 to kill her parents in a staged robbery.

She let them in the night of her parent's murder and they shot and killed her mother but the shots fired at her father kept him alive. Eventually, she was convicted and given a life sentence.

I'm not telling you that story to say that your sister is like Jennifer Pan. But, stories like hers are far too common.

If I were you, I'd leave your sister alone. If you really want to be a part of her life, you will need to become her ally by accepting her for who she really is, even if that means going against what your parents think of her. You'll have to lose the alliance of your parents for the alliance of your sister. Unless your parents are not that controlling and demanding of you and your sister's lives and want what is best for your sister. You'd have to give us more information about your family dynamics I guess to help us understand the whole family system dynamics.

Easiest solution: just let your sister live her life and accept that she doesn't want a sibling relationship with you and turn to other sources of blogs and articles for online information to help you deal with this situation.