I'm working on this piece of creative non-fiction that is turning out to be extremely relevant to the content of our sessions. I have shared writing with him before, but it was less than 2000 words....as it stands, this one will be under 20,000! I desperately want to send it to him as I think it will be beneficial. I've expressed things I would struggle to say out loud. It goes quite deeply into experiences and vulnerabilities that are hard to describe in a non-creative way. I wouldn't even know where to begin.

I'm just a bit conscious of it being long and time consuming to read. Does anyone have any advice on how I could approach this? I thought of just sending him the relevant bits, but they don't make sense when taken out of context. I guess I could say, "please don't feel like you have to read the whole thing, I realise it's quite long" etc and then just leave it up to him? But then would he assume I actually want him to read all of it and am being manipulative? I think I'm overthinking. I just don't want to come across as asking for too much of his time. I guess he could also read it in session, but I think that would feel a bit weird to me. I don't want to see his reaction as he reads it, it would make me want to hide. The last time I gave him something to read (after he encouraged me to), he simply took it and read it at home. He thanked me for sharing it with him and seemed genuinely intrigued. That was about a year ago and I haven't shared anything else since.

I guess maybe I should just send it and accept the possibility that he might not read it? Or say that it is too long? That would feel like rejection, but at the same time, not sending it at all doesn't seem like an option because it's so important to me.

Ahhhhh I don't know how to interact like a normal human being ffs. Why is this so hard?!

Many thanks in advance.