Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
Residents might live alone in their rooms but they might eat together in a dining room if they choose so and have organized activities and stuff like that. They have privacy of their apartments but also have other people around when they choose to socialize. I worked in one.
I thought maybe they would do virtual support groups? Not sure.
My bad
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Oh, I see now. Actually, I worked in a nursing home that also had that kind of residential set up, in addition to the nursing home. Places like that are very expensive. I'm not quite to that stage of life. Even if I were, I wouldn't have the money for that. I wouldn't really be appropriate for that.
I'm grateful that I have an apartment that I'm secure in. My basic needs are met. My income is modest, but adequate for providing all that's necessary.
Lack of contact with other people is a big component of why I feel bad. I always was kind of socially phobic. In recent years, I didn't try to find and nurture friendships. My caregiving responsibilities pretty much filled my day, every day. I was frequently dealing with doctors and healthcare professionals, who came to the house. I was often taking my s.o. for doctors' appointments or for his cancer treatments. He was in and out of the hospital (5 times, just in 2020.) Before COVID, I would be in the hospital whenever he was there. I would sleep in his room. All that activity had me interacting a lot. It was meaningful interaction, where I was making sure things got done.
It was like a more-than- fulltime job. Then it just stopped. People I saw regularly were no longer part of my life.
This morning was awful. But I kind of pulled out of that, thanks probably to the meds I took. I should try to do something now.
It's been over 3 months since I lost my longtime love. I know that's not a long time. It is a long time to keep having such severe episodes of depression. I think social isolation is a major factor behind that. I think about flying to stay with one of my sisters for a few weeks. But I don't want to go in a bad frame of mind. Plus, I need to get organized here and stop neglecting everything. I have weeks of mail that I haven't even looked at. I know that's wrong of me to ignore what I need to take care of. I know I'm living in a bad state of my own creation. I wish I could find something to look forward to.
I like falling asleep. I hate waking up. This is not the first time in my life that I've been badly depressed. I think getting older makes it harder.