I talked to T1 today. He is not angry about me canceling on T2 although he is sad it didn’t work. I said I might be open to trying again another time when resources are not so low (emotional and financial). He thinks he might have an opening this week, he will call me whenever he gets into the office and let me know. I was kind of surprised he wasn’t going to try and have the three of us meet together and work it out. He did say that something must have just lined up perfectly when he and I met because we never had problems like I do with T2 and I have never totally flipped out on him like I do with T2. He did say he was going to talk to her again and get her perspective. He hasn’t ever seen me this unstable though and we need to get me feeling calm and safe again.
We got to just talk about hobbies a little bit too and laugh. He told me why he sounded so frustrated last night when he called. He was extremely frustrated but it was getting late and he wanted to check on me so he didn’t take the time to calm down and center. The frustration had nothing to do with me.
We also got to clarify some things that put me more at ease. I won’t be able to act on them until H goes to work Wednesday but I will be able to follow through.