Ty both for your support. I’m sure the local authorities and most of my family, friends and neighbors are aware of the situation here. I do still feel a need to let out my own aggression every once and a while. Thank your for listening. I’m codependent so it is important for me to work out problems on my own. What is worse is that I’ve found someone who has been very supportive of my problems but this is one issue he won’t involve himself.

To lessen my anxiety, I had another spending spree - I bought house shoes, a juicer, a few new outfits and a couple of hats to match. I wish I could adorn myself up nicer but emotionally I can’t handle too much more.

Sometimes I feel like working towards a goal is useless. Not sure if perfection will ever be possible or if I will ever “reach my potential” but right now I feel useless and alone. I feel the best thing for me to do right now is walk away from anything that could harm me emotionally. As hard as that is to do, letting go does feel better most of the time.