I have come to the point where I very rarelyyyyy find things genuinely funny. There are things that I may buy or do that are occasionally “satisfying “ but I don’t think I’ve experienced pure joy or laughter in a long time.

Another issue i have is , well idk if it’s a lack of confidence? Paranoia? Straight up ocd? Extreme anxiety? Idk.... I do see a professional, and I am actually in the process of being evaluated for ASD....but I am constantly not trusting my actions and feeling that harm or humiliation will occur if i dont double check and triple check things... closing doors, throwing away garbage , filling a bag or box to be given away, checking a text message a dozen times to be sure I didn’t write anything I shouldn’t before sending it, making sure i didnt hit an innappropriate “ react” button to someones status on social media . I know that it is fairly irrational thinking . But Idk how to break the cycle. I try to start with one thing a day. Like try to go a whole day without double checking my bathroom door is closed when i leave it. Ya know? Reassuring myself out loud that everything is okay. I’m just not sure if that’s actually a good way to break these awful habits...it’s time consuming and I hate it, but I hate the idea of something bad happening even more...