Wildflowerchild, you go girl! Definitely do it your way. My mother was always pressured to do things other people's way and forced to invite her brother, who NEVER reciprocated. Please don't let anyone pressure you into anything you don't want, when you host.

I'm sorry to read about your grandpa. If this is of any consolation, my grandmother had several mini strokes over the last 10 years of her life, and recovered well from all of them. I hope your grandpa recovers well and quickly.