I will apologize after having manic rage. That's probably one of the top things that getting on the right meds has helped me with. Still, the memories of feeling scary and out of control haunt me to this day, and my family will periodically offer me unsolicited reminders. I think we as people who struggle with bipolar should remember that we aren't bad for responding to what we feel as very real emotions. The times that I've pulled my car over on the highway to get out and scream, or thrown my phone against a wall, or had vitriolic verbal combat with my father, were all responses to stimuli that felt very real to me. I can apologize till the cows come home, but at the end of the day I have to accept, forgive, and love myself.