Have had some dark thoughts lately. Some are even scary. I left a message for my counselor. Thanks to this virus I haven't seen her since February. But I am desperate now. Before things get any worse I thought I better contact her. My husband had to leave work early on Saturday so he could come be with me. I didn't feel safe that day. It gets like this for me every year. I already talked to my p-doc she said that at my next appointment we will see how the past month went. Well I can tell you now that it's not gonna go well. I've just been journaling and listening to music. The music seems to help keep me somewhat calm. I keep it upbeat. Now to go back to listening.