I am trying to adjust to this new life. I've been channeling for so long now that I don't know what it's like to feel normal without hearing the voices. They've calmed and have disappeared now.

I am absorbing this spiritual experience and am reflecting upon it. The dark voices really frightened me and also offended me. I felt like I was going to hell, or surrounded by hell. It was most disconcerting. The benevolent loving voices gave me insights, motivation and inspiration. Now I am without both. It's strange.

Yesterday I was free of all of it except for a random dark voice here and there. I demanded that it leave. And when I do that, it stops.

My husband met good friends of mine yesterday for the first time. I hadn't seen them in three years, so it was soooo wonderful to touch base and to see them again. They live on one of my favorite local beaches. They made us an amazing fresh lobster dinner -- literally, just caught that day, so that fresh. And they loved my husband! My friend Deb even said that she was in love with him. Of course, she. meant it jokingly, not for real. She's very happily married.

I think I feel a bit better about my marriage now. I suppose it will continue to be an adjustment as I adjust to the new or old me.

The last 12 years have been an enlightening experience to say the least. I decided yesterday that I will choose gratitude for having had this experience. Most of all, I am grateful to feel my old self come back, without all the distraction and noise.

At the same time, I am not sure what to do with many of the predictions and information I was given through my channeling -- that my father will pass away before the end of the year, that I had been sexually abused, that Biden will win the election and a few other important tidbits.

I just don't know what to make of it all. Did all that information come from the loving or the dark voices? I found that the dark voices lied to me and even pretended to be loving. The loving voices seemed genuine and real. The whole thing is sooooooo surreal I don't know what to make of it.

I really don't want to channel anymore though. The dark, the scary and the bad outweighed all the good things that came of it. I began to feel unhealthy and unbalanced. Now I feel healthier and more balanced again.