I go back to work this afternoon and for the first time since I guffawed out loud, multiple times, at a patient while mixed.

I am on an even keel. But I am nervous nonetheless. I know I won't repeat what I did before, but I feel like I don't trust myself, even though I should. I'm also concerned about word-finding as that has gotten much worse since Zyprexa. I'm a certified medical interpreter (I interpret for Spanish-speaking patients all over a hospital, inpatients, outpatients, etc.) and thus need to word-find in a split second in both languages. So I'm a bit scared.

I also have a couple of big stressors going on right now. I'm just coming out of that mixed episode, so I'm concerned about being triggered by stress and suffering a relapse. Still, in the last 6 years or so, I've been pretty resilient when it comes to stress and it triggering episodes. Therapy has helped, working only part time has helped immeasurably. I see my therapist on Thursday and I'll be working hard on the issues I need to work on.