An absolutely heroic post, Cog. So proud of you. Here is how I relate.

I an exquisitely sensitive and a major empath. I adore being w children. Have always been a nurterer. Have always had closer relationships with women. I use language more often used by women. Yes, I am fairly large, fairly strong, like football, and was a surgeon. Only attracted sexually to women, but so are lots of women.

I am almost exactly like my father in this regard. I have often felt I was more like a woman than many men. Yes, I have a drive, but sex has never been a priority. My ideal woman is a tall, thin, very smart and talented woman with light hair from Sydney. But the part that really attracts me is not physical, it is talent and brains. Kills me every time. But the current version of Sydney Girl is totally married and I am psychotic all the time, so not likely. Oh well...
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Hugs and love, Cog. You are not alone.