Why does it always make me so very sad and angry when I talk to my BF via email or even IM and he is "so happy"...having "such a great time"???
I mean, he left me here alone and he isn't working yet, so why the heck should HE be having such a great time? OK, so he is spending time with his son, living with his mom and bro again...he is STILL co-Dependant no matter how you look at it. So, he couldn't handle my outbursts whether due to PTSD or Bipolar that doesn't mean he should be mooching off others still!
He should be miserable, like me. He should be sad, like me. He should be working, like me......ARGH!!!

Why do I still love him with all my heart? Maybe it's because he is so kind hearted, mellow, doesn't get angry at anything and he is just plain loving. The only thing he ever really did to me was to leave me with no note or anything. He needed to leave and I understand that, but I am still upset about that.

Why do I continue to let myself get so upset over being so very alone? I should be taking advantage of it, but I am not social at all. I don't go out anywhere unless someone is with me.

Why???? Why do I care so darned much? Why do I let it make me so depressed???



BLAAAAAH!!!! Ok, I think I feel a little better now....whew...

BJ