Thank you for taking so much time to type out this very insightful response! I’ve read and stewed on this post several times already, and thanks to these tips I finally see a practical way to keep my words and actions in check. And I can relate to your situation in a very similar way.

I have actually thought about ways to cut my dependence on my parents and their home, as I’ve received a job offer after applying for a few jobs. Even if it doesn’t work out, situations like the ones I found myself in give me more motivation to go my own way.

I am the kind of person who doesn’t let go of difficult emotions easily. I need to process what the heck just happened first, and allow my emotions to flow before coming back to the matter. Whereas the sucky thing with my folks is even though I’m very even tempered I can go from sitting on top of the world to down in the dumps over an offhand remark or negative attitude. Most days I don’t have a lot of quiet time, since I’m in frequent contact with my folks while living at home, but that often spells trouble when someone’s in a bad mood. It’s like the idiom one bad apple spoiling the whole bunch fitting me to a T. So often if my dad gets into one of his moments, for example, I feel trapped without any room to break free and seek my beloved privacy. Which I think I will find more of once I get my own place. But at the times when my asserting of boundaries have come across as more confrontational like what happened recently maybe it’s another example of my need to grieve that my parents aren’t perfect and how I just need more space than they do so my emotions aren’t all B&W.

This makes me all the more grateful that you provided all these pointers because I sometimes get lost in the psychological lingo or talk too much without acting that I forget these strategies are here to protect me all too often. And just as often I remind myself of my slip ups and completely bypass all my gifts, so thank you also for reminding me of my strengths so I can fully put them into practice with my relationships.

Thank you for helping me feel more empowered! I will remember this next time I get rubbed the wrong way with my folks or just any other people for that matter.