Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv
I think you are on to something. You ARE afraid to talk back because you didn’t do it in reality. I’m sorry they were so mean and told you that you were stupid. 
Meanwhile, you have achieved a lot.
The military and your parents sound like they use this tear ‘em down to build ‘em up tactic.
Did your parents ever say they were proud of you? |
The military does do that, but didn't need to with me, lol, I was already torn down. Basic training was an unprecedented level of freedom and kindness in my life. They only got onto you if you did something wrong, AND they couldn't lay a hand on you. Pfft, lol. I slept like a baby every night! LOL! I was never so happy in my whole life as after I joined up. The sheer relief at knowing the rules, and knowing I was OK if I just followed the rules was unbelievable. After a chaotic childhood where anything could be OK one day and life-threateningly-wrong the next, it was fabulous.
Yes, actually, while I was waiting to ship out, I was told they were proud of me for joining up for the military. At that point I no longer wanted any part of it and actually would have reversed course but I had already signed papers. Basically, anything they blessed, I cursed, and vice versa - if I'd known they wanted me to go into the military, I'd have run off to join the circus instead.
But I didn't know, so I joined up and inadvertently 'made them proud'. (it didn't last, of course, I was useless and stupid and it made them sick to look at me again by the next day, but whatevs)
Yep, I'm totally afraid of talking back. I spent half the night last night tied up in anxiety knots just from thinking about it yesterday.
So how do I conquer this fear?
