Quote:
Originally Posted by bpcyclist
An excellent topic for us. I have had to make some major adjustments.in my journey, I have determined that the fundamental issue in my brain is a problem of excitation and inhibition homeostasis. I am unable to balance effectively.
So, I wrote a book about my state' s forensic psych system, but that was so traumatizing that I may not publish it. It is too triggering.
I have no love life because I do not want to go through my illness history with a bunch of chicks who may be bigots. Could really use a partner. No dice.
My ex would not let me see my son. Should have sued er ***, but am psychotic too often, she woulda shredded me. On and on.
You are a systems woman, fern. You will sort this out with a plan that works for you. You always do.
Hugs!!!!
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You've been through some really rough times. I'm always amazed at how you've been able to make it through and maintain such a beautiful spirit. I hold hope that some of your losses will reverse themselves with time and an open heart.
I'm in the same boat with my book. It is 90% complete, but I am not sure I'll ever finish it. I just can't make a call on that yet.
I realize now that my thought that I was giving up the things I love is incorrect. I am just shifting how and when I go about them. I needed the perspective of the wise posters in this thread. I get lost in the details at times and I need to remind myself to also focus on the big picture. Blending the two perspectives brings balance and comfort.
I also realize that dialing back on some of the things that used to take up the majority of my time and energy has made room for me to grow in other areas and discover new paths. That is something to be grateful for. I know it is time to let go of the old me and look forward instead. I've been working on that for two years. I am not sure how long it will take, but I have to keep trying.
Yes, systems are my thing. I know I'll be able to find one that works. It will be a constantly moving target, but I am no stranger to a high rate of change. I love a challenge.
