yes, it all is wearing me down -> and so much more.


i'm starting to see that something else is happening. maybe it's just an emotional response to all this. but there are times when i just lose it. i think i've posted a couple of them on here before.

in that moment and on those days, i break down. i'm too overwhelmed and exhausted. i just don't want to do any of it - any more! all the pain, all the medicine, all the physical doc appts, all the non-physical trauma, being buried under it all -> i'm just done, don't care what happens anymore!


it's likely a massive sign of worsening d , but it seems 'those days' are happening more and more! and almost like there's nothing i can do.

like today, i didn't even eat a meal. didn't care. it was all i could do just to get my big glass of milk in me.