I don't know how to talk about this and open up more about this on here, but I am REALLY struggling spiritually and need help.

Beginning 12 years ago, I began exploring and experimented with different spiritual practices, including channeling. To make a VERY long story short, I got into some pretty big spiritual trouble as a result of my experimentation, which has unfolded over the course of 12 years.

During my channeling, I would experience the effects of energetic presences in my body, around my body, and ultimately, which had the ability to move my body.

Fast forward to today:

I tried to shut down my channeling because it became too overwhelming for me, but I still feel energy presences around and within my body. When I demand that they leave, my body jerks and moves uncontrollably - kind of like in the movie, the Exorcist.

And I hear dark evil voices sometimes. Before I tried to shut down my channeling, I heard the darker voices regularly along with many loving and benevolent voices. I heard both. I also talked to the loving voices.

But apparently, I cannot shut down this channel that I opened, not entirely. I demand for the energies to leave, and they do, but only temporarily.

I confided in my therapist about my channeling last week, who now wants to increase my medication dosage. I had to go on an anti-psychotic med after a mental breakdown I experienced many years ago whereby I was hospitalized for believing I was possessed by an evil spirit and was hearing that person's name around me all the time.

I pray. I pray nearly every day for help. I pray for it all to go away and to leave me alone.

Other than demanding that the energies and dark voices leave, increasing my meds and praying, is there anything else I can do?

Has anyone experiencing anything similar? Even if you haven't, do you have any advice?

I am trying hard to remain within our Community Guidelines, so let's please keep all responses non-religious, etc. Thank you.

PS: I'm thinking of trying to find a real Shaman spiritual elder and healer who can help.