Hi there.
I’m sorry that you’re having a tough time.
As Skeezyks said in the above reply, it could be worth seeking the help of a doctor, be it a psychiatrist or perhaps your GP, with regards to medication options. A medical doctor will know what may work for you, so it is worth at least asking, because I understand that in some cases, one may need something alongside therapy in order to be able to work through things more effectively.
See it as a sort of lifebuoy/raft to get you managing your symptoms to the point where you can seek therapy.
I have no idea what would work in terms of medication, but if you do have a GP or psychiatrist you trust to explain this to, just as you did in your post, that could be really beneficial.
I have been told that I have components of PPD, and understand how frustrating yet real these feelings are.
All the best,
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