Thank you for your directness SarahSweets. I really appreciate what you call bluntness. I haven’t even seen this friend since graduating high school 7 years ago, but we have kept in touch. That has allowed me to throw zero dollars and zero cents toward his cause. But he has supported me with kind words during my recent major transitions. I do have stronger boundaries than I used to, but I am bad about over-explaining, so I may try that next time. Thanks!

Hey Tisha, that is a powerful comparison. I may even tell him next time around that I am willing to support him as a friend, but not through finances. And like I’ve told Sarah it’s been years since seeing each other, but both of us have been busy. Some plans however to meet up have fallen through. But since I have a classic Mustang and he is a diesel mechanic we do have fun discussions about cars and other things guys are interested in. And thats terrible to hear about this “friend”. You handled the situation just like I would have preferred.

A previous situation was not as severe as yours, but I had a different person who was a neighbor who persisted in favors even after I told him no. The worst was when I gave him a ride to an international airport 90 miles away and expected me to give him a ride home even after I said no. And he has also forgotten to return things I’ve loaned to him. Now that time has passed and haven’t heard from him since I was his neighbor, he is a user to a tee.

And RoxanneToto I do agree he has become a bit of a user. He overall has been a good friend, and always seems to have a good word to make rather sucky situations better, but I guess I don’t have to like all his traits to be a friend. I think human society is awful anymore about doing things out of an arbitrary obligation rather than altruism, in other words like living life on a checklist. And sadly this could affect some of my friendships too.