Your husband is clever. That's exactly what triangulation is like for the victim of it.

Because my siblings have their own families and homes and successful careers, everyone looks to them as "the good eggs" of my family, and they label me as "the loser." So, cousins etc. never contact me to ask me about my life. They ask my siblings for updates b/c they have zero interest in investing any of their time in maintaining a relationship with me.

My parents siblings make cutting remarks to me, that are rather snarky (and are intentionally that way). Such as, "At least you are trying to be successful." And "Well, you contribute in your own special way." As if I'm on the special needs spectrum or dumb as rocks. It's really blatant the way that they intentionally put me down. I could react emotionally hurt, but I have come to learn, that since they don't care about my feelings, if I stay silent and play dumb to their snarkiness, I'm better off. No reaction from me. That's my self-defense., I have learned that you can't successfully confront triangulators. They just don't care and they will never change or view or treat me with respect.