first off, im sorry for the longish post, second if you read it all thanks i appreciate it.

Hi, im Gwen and I'm going to mentally break if things don't change soon. Fun huh? So I'm 27 now and when i was 18 i married a very abusive man, in every sense, and i had my son at 19. When my son was about 7 months old i was forced to give him up to my husband's grandparents under threats of him hurting my son, yes I'm well aware i should have just left but i didn't and I will never forgive myself for it. I was kept states away from my son for 6 months and had no contact with him or anyone but my ex husband. Finally after 6 months i was told to go to my husband's grandparents house and find us a new apartment and get a job before we moved down there. My son didn't recognize me and my ex husband's grandparents wouldn't let me near him, i had to sit away from him and try to talk to him and get him comfortable with me again. They would even prevent him from coming to me or keep me from holding him. This went on for about 2 weeks when i decided i wanted to take my son and visit my grandmother, i had no intentions of leaving the relationship, and then things went from bad to worse. They took my son and got custody in court because they grew up with the judge and it's a small backwards little town. One week after that, my ex husband divorced me through a text and never answered another one of my calls. When he finally brought some of my things to me he showed up with another woman and her newborn child. He barely said two words to me and to this day i still don't know what sparked all this. I've now been fighting for custody for 6 years, with them calling me every name in the book and claiming i have abused and even molested my son. It's been hell. This past month I have been getting more and more sick, my immune system is shot from stress and i can literally feel my mind starting to snap. I looked at myself in the mirror earlier and i wanted to cut it up till it was even more unrecognizable. (I used to self harm but i haven't in 3 years) I'm going to break and this doesn't seem to be ending anytime soon. I'm sorry for the long woe is me post, i just needed to tell someone other than my SO about it.

Thanks for reading.