Just realize that she won't change. Sounds like my mother who was diagnosed by my therapist as having "narcissistic personality disorder with borderline characteristics." But of course, I'm just suggesting she might have something like that, since I'm not trained as that kind of psychiatrist or psychologist.

As you see, she really doesn't want to disown you, but it's a control technique. My mother threatened to leave her sizeable estate to the heart foundation if we didn't do what she wanted--but I managed to distance myself after I got married and my husband was "transferred" across the state. She then relied on my sister.