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Hi ttw21, My mom was severely mentally ill and when I was growing up she would have episodes in which she became paranoid and screamed at me, accusing me of all sorts of weird things. She would also become physically violent toward me. From the time I was a young child until I left home when I was 19 I would pretend I was Mr. Spock whenever my mom went off on me. He was my favorite character in Star Trek and, like him, I wanted not to have any emotions. I became very good at it by dissociating myself from my own feelings.
The problem is that I ended up being so stuck in dissociation that eventually the world around me seemed to be unreal (the name for it is "derealization"). I still have feelings, but the sense of isolation (because I feel myself as almost entirely disconnected from the world) is very difficult and painful.
In my opinion it would be great if you could get into therapy now, when it's easier to make changes in your brain and learn healthy ways of coping. It's a lot harder to do when you're older, don't know how to have normal relationships, and so on.
Remember that by shutting off your emotions you are doing your best to cope with the anxiety you feel as you're being yelled at. My guess is that the anxiety is there; you're just dissociating yourself from it.
So what I mean is that you are reacting normally to an abnormal situation (people shouldn't be yelling at you unless they are trying to save you from imminent physical danger).
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