Forgiving those who have harmed you is absolutely necessary for your own healing in my opinion. It is just as important as forgiving yourself.

I think most people do not fully understand the meaning of forgiveness. It is actually a lot of work, but benefits you immensely in the end. It also must be done over again if the person who harmed you causes new resentments.

Forgiveness is best understood in terms of monetary debt. The forgiveness of debt owed someone does not simply mean you tell someone they don't need to pay you back. The money they borrowed from you is now gone. This means YOU MUST PAY FOR WHAT THEY DID. I know this sounds extreme, but think about it.

He damaged your self esteem, and your heart. He left you to pick up the peices. You had to start all over. Forgiveness is putting the time, effort, money, etc. into repairing and replacing all that he stole from you. He broke your heart, now you must repair it. He took your home from you, now you must pay for a new place to live. You must do all this despite the fact that it wasn't your fault. IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT. You must walk away from him, repay the debt, and never bring it back up again. Never bring him to mind and stew with resentment. If you start to mull over the wrongs he did you, forgive him again. Go back and see what still hurts and heal from it. This is the only way to be free from the prison of unforgiveness.

Take care! You are strong. You are free!