I have PTSD and MDD and huge levels of anxiety about the stuff that happened that caused my PTSD. Of all of the things I have anxiety about, I have one WORST thing that I have feared and lost sleep over for decades. For the sake of this post, to ensure anonymity, I'll say that my worst fear was having my house burn down. So I'm super paranoid about making sure the stove is off, and the fire alarms are charged and I have fire extinguishers in every room and a dedicated emergency services phone velcroed to every doorway, and I worry all day and all night about what would happen if the house caught on fire and burned down. For 25 years.
And then, one day, while I was at the grocery store, my house burned down. I came home to a smoking heap of ash.
And, oddly, I am not freaking out. It's like - the worst has happened, what more could someone do? I still feel anxious about other stuff, but it's almost like having the worst thing in the world actually happen has taken the edge off of my PTSD. Like - if you had been attacked by a tiger and it gave you PTSD and you were terrified of tigers after that, and then one day a tiger got loose from the zoo and jumped in your car at a stoplight, and you jumped out of the car and locked it in, and called the zoo, and they came to get it.... and suddenly you're not as afraid as you were.
I think I just talked myself around in a circle to realizing that this is what is commonly known as 'confronting your fears'
So confronting your fear makes it go away. Holy cow.
So I really have to thank the people who, knowing that I was terrified of having my house burn down, snuck in and lit a match, thinking they were ruining my life. Thank you, evil people, who have nothing better to do than terrorize others. Ha ha, the joke is on you, I actually feel better now.