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DudeAlex
Junior Member
DudeAlex is finding freedom.
 
Member Since: Jan 2019
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 15
5 yr Member
151 hugs
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Default Sep 13, 2020 at 02:41 PM
 
I have been stable for at least 5 years. Before that, sometimes I saw or heard things.
One example was between 2009 and 2013. I sat in my living room and watched a scene on the wall as if it was a large screen. It was a sequence of violence and fire. I liken it to a combination of Hell and war. It turned out to be a reaction to Geodon. As soon as I told the doctor, they took me off it and I never had hallucinations like that again, nor had I ever before. As that particular instance was caused by medication, I do not attribute it to a disorder.
There were other examples, however. Over the years, I have had milder hallucinations that did not seem to be due to medication.
I do wonder whether I may just have bipolar disorder and the hallucinations I had were when I was manic only, or whether the diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder is correct. I am having trouble remembering. We are working on that question. Right now, I have a diagnosis of schizoaffective, but I also have a "rule-out" diagnosis of bipolar, which means just what it sounds like: we are trying to rule out bipolar.
I am convinced that over time I can overcome most or all the symptoms of mental disorder that I have. I want to research my disorders intensely and do everything I can. Maybe I will succeed, and it is definitely worth trying. In any case, I have cut down my symptoms and can alleviate more as time goes on.
Right now, I am trying to quit caffeine, as it adds to my higher mood states. I had about one 5-ounce cup of black tea today, down from two or three per day before yesterday.
I am doing other things to work on myself as well, which I feel are inappropriate for this post, so I will save them for elsewhere. As I am a survivor of trauma, some of the things I am saving for elsewhere are the traumatic experiences I have had. I am on another forum for those.
All in all, I feel solid about my recovery over the three decades I have struggled with mental disorder, and about my future.

I Wish You All Well,
Al

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"Do your best. That is all anyone can ask."
~me
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