This is my first post. I don't know if it's ok, I just needed to get it out.

Dear Mom,

It's been 7 months and every day I miss you more. It's not fair that you were taken so suddenly. You knew you were sick but you didn't want to tell us because you knew we'd worry, and you'd never want that for us. Sometimes I think I should have realized and known you were sick and I blame myself for your death. It's really hard sometimes when I'm just a little angry at you for not telling us and not getting to the doctors in time. I will always wonder if we made the right decisions those few weeks you were in the hospital.

I'm always confused and lost without you. You were my rock, my guide, my best friend and my house mate. I miss talking to you about the little things...the new restaurant in town and the store that just closed, the neighbor's new addition, etc. I miss talking to you about every major decision I make. It seems that every single thing I do I feel you are missing.

You would still be proud of us. We kept all the traditions through all the holidays, tried to replicate all your cooking, but it's just not the same without you. I even hosted Easter dinner all by myself. Your granddaughter will be graduating from middle school and going to high school next year. She is getting more and more mature every day! Another granddaughter just got engaged, and your grandson is getting married in July. But you already know all that, right? Because you are still watching over us, right mom?