With my son it definitely seems to be, that and he's being manipulated by a much older man. He didn't get everything he thought the world owed him when he turned 18 and it's easier to blame everyone else. That's been my brother in a nutshell his whole life. Somehow they missed the personal accountability lessons in their lives. I'm sad for them, and I'm sad for me. You're right though my compassion won't let me be anyone but me. It hurts to let them go, especially knowing that doing so is going to hurt them a lot more than me. I've always been their fall back place, but if all they have to offer is abuse in return then I can't be that place. I won't be that place for them.