As for my mom being an alcoholic, she wasn't, although she did smoke while pregnant. My dad, he did drink a bit more than may have been good for him, but all in all he wasn't too bad. I now recognize he was depressed and irritable a lot of the time (the BD comes from his side of the family). He got very angry very often, and sometimes even violent, but in the end I don't really blame him because nothing of what he did was "personal," and I now know first hand how hard it is to keep all those emotions in check. He recognizes his mistakes and owns them and he is a stand up guy. I think the most damage was done by my mom. She has borderline but doesn't recognize it. She was extremely manipulative and full of hate towards me. That was much worse to me than the occasional angry outburst. It really undermines your entire sense of self in ways you may not even notice for a long time. She won't admit that she did anything wrong at all.