Neither of my siblings nor I believe our father was an alcoholic until much later in his life. When exactly that started, we are not sure. His drinking didn't seem problematic until his early 70s. Yes, 70s. But my sister said our late mother commented about his drinking soon before her death (making our father 62 at that time). He definitely has a mood disorder. We believe it's definitely bipolar disorder, which our paternal grandmother had. Recently, he has even started receiving treatment with bipolar medications, while he previously was only prescribed antidepressants and Buspar. He would never accept a bipolar diagnosis, because he hates its stigma. Depression and anxiety are OK, in his book.

Frankly, unlike my siblings, I think his "alcoholism" was self medication (out of control) of bipolar disorder. Of course his severe drinking was dangerous and problematic, but his psych issues are much worse and have been painfully clear almost his entire life. His psych issues are what have affected my siblings and my relationships with him. The heavy drinking was just part of the high crescendo of it all.

My siblings' and my relationships with our father were never strong. More superficial. His "Me, me, me" self-focused attitude in life was responsible for that. And it persists even despite him being "dry". He is hiding away in an assisted living facility for no good reason, avoiding. Avoiding and hiding. When we've encouraged him to return home, he threatens that if he does he will drink. He's become an elderly man-child, who never ever plans to do any work at recovery. I will be moving to Europe in the near future. It's hard to say how many more times I will even see him. I have little desire to. Even when I do, the interactions are brief and superficial, at best. Zero meaningful conversations. He is mostly disinterested in me or either of my siblings. Sad!

During my long period of multiple psych hospitalizations, my husband would call my dad to tell him I was hospitalized. The response was always the same. "Tell her to call me when she gets out and feels better." When my nephew lost his life to bipolar depression, my father acted like the main victim, even though he gave my nephew little attention during his life. And of course my father was the main victim when my mother died of cancer. Poor dude! Poor, poor, Dude!

So yes, my father's psych problems have affected my siblings and me. It's obviously not all due to his clear bipolar disorder. There are personality traits at work, as well. Not all people with bipolar disorder are self-centered. Probably most aren't.