Exhausting day. 7000 steps following my student around. I seriously felt so bad for him. He sat in the classroom screaming at everyone and then he just buried his head in his hands and sighed “I’m never ever happy. I’m angry and sad all the Time”. My heart broke. It’s so, so heart wrenching to hear that from an eleven year old. And yet, his mother still wants him to remain unmedicated for “as long as possible”. I want to hug him and tell him I understand, but of course I can’t. Not only will it violate corona rules, but it will probably just make him more upset. I make sure to stay well out if his personal space when he’s upset. In between episodes of anger and minor aggression, though, he’s a really sweet kid. He’s very knowledgeable. I love talking to him. I hope he can settle in soon. I know his behavior is about control - he can’t control what’s going on in his head so he controls the way he behaves toward people and pushes the limits. I have hope for him though. He is not dead eyed. There is sparkle in there.

No word on my grandfather. Still the same, I suppose. My brother contacted me of his own free will and invited me to come have a small bbq with his family at his house. I am very glad! I haven’t seen him in person since the very end of December.

My mom is just...I just can’t with her. I offered to help her donate her books, but no, she “has to go through them”. And she’s still buying ****! No point In cleaning out if she’s just going to build her hoard again. She seems to be on the verge of a mental breakdown, but honestly I can’t remember a time when she wasn’t! It’s always something, and she refuses to get any help. I just have to step back. She’s an adult. She can make her own choices. I do worry what’s going to happen when my grandmother dies eventually. She’s supposed to be the executor of the will - she can’t even do basic adult things like pay bills on time! I wish I could convince my grandma to make me the executor. I’ll team up with my SIL and we will get **** done.

Oh well. No major issues, I guess, so I’ll just trundle along!