Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets
Aside from the emotional issues the OP mentioned, I’m not sure I understand what bothers you about her dressing up. I love to dress up. I love to wear dresses and I love makeup and looking good because it makes me feel good. Undoubtedly I’ve had days that started out very bleak but then I’ve fixed myself up and worn a pretty dress and my whole attitude changed. I like to look nice for me. When I do go out without my husband I’ll wear whatever I want to. I don’t intentionally try and be sexy. Sometimes the dresses I wear have plunging necklines. Sometimes they are on the shorter side. I do not crave attention from other men or want to be the center of attention wherever I go. I’m not talking about all the emotional stuff or the fact that the OP can’t talk to his wife, or that he thinks she looked less attractive when they went out vs when she went out with her friends. I’m only talking about the way she chooses to dress.
|
I think that's great that you express yourself through the way you look. I feel really good, too, when we go out on a hot day to an outdoor event and she's got her cutoff short shorts and a skimpy shirt. That's great! I also like to dress nice when I go out. I like to dress up for job interviews, etc. It makes me feel more confident. I don't want to start a post war on how women should dress. Everyone is different.
What bothers me is that in certain situations it causes me anxiety because it triggers me into feeling like I did when my ex wife would cheat on me. She would go out to bars and come home drunk and admit to it. She cheated on me when she went on a cruise with her girlfriends. She's cheated on me at a party we were both at and I caught her. I tried to explain this to my wife now and she has zero sympathy. She has the same attitude, that no man is gonna control how I dress. Which is fine in a normal situation, but I admit that I'm not normal and I'm in therapy and I'm trying to get better so I don't go into full panic and I just need a little validation. It's so hard to just sit still and smile and say "have a good night".