Hi glimmered,

Gosh, 'detachment disorder' - that's me.

There is a lot of pain for those of us who didn't go out into the world with grounded parenting. As you so rightly say we both desire and fear close relationships, so it hurts both ways.

I try to remember that the problem is in my own emotions and not in the person I am relating to. I try not to put too much pressure on any one person, but have a few lighter relationships in my life, and some other supports, including Psych Central.

Whatever happens, I know that another person cannot put the parenting back in for me, it's too late for that. As one therapist friend once said, 'Some people are still looking for their parents, as if they could find one under a bush somewhere, but they can't. Yet, they still go looking".

If we can be strong in ourselves, others will come towards us. I know it's easy to say.

Hope things improve for you.

Myzen,