SO many amazing comments here, I don't think I can add much, except to say that Guy, I think if you see worth in the marriage then it's absolutely the right thing imo for you to try and work out your own issues and your issues with your wife. Having said that, it does seem that you are maybe having some of the same issues that you had in your previous marriage. I'm really with Sarah in my belief that women should feel free to wear what they want. I wouldn't be pleased to see anyone subjugated (in any way) for for dressing as they please, but it does seem more of an issue that your wife is unwilling to address your fears. It does seem that she is dismissive, and I don't know if you see any patterns in your relationships with regards to attachment style? I know that I have had problems with having a disorganised attachment style, but especially have had problems attaching anxiously to dismissive partners, and I can see how this pattern has caused a lot of upset in my life. I hope you and your wife can both be happy, and feel free to be yourselves, whether together or apart