((((((to everyone)))))))

Thank you so much. You do not know what it means to have you here. I feel so afraid and have a lot of anxiety building up. Everything is overwhelming me and I feel exhausted in it all. Sometimes I do not think I can pull through but I know I did not make it this far for nothing.

I know I am a survivor and I survived for a reason, but I am also very tired --tired of carrying the memories within, the memories that I cannot seem to let out. I try little by little but I feel afraid.

I am trying to breath (in and out)
Feel the floor
Feel the keyboard beneath my hands.
Feeling the fan above me.
Noticing where I am, that I am not in the past but here in the present.

I keep telling myself these things and telling myself these things. Why is it that sometimes it works and at other times I struggle to do it.

I feel a lot of stress. I know that that is not good for me. But I am trying to calm myself down. I just feel scared. I am trying. Please keep me in your thoughts. I am trying and I am reaching which is something I did not used to do. Thank you to all of you for your support.

I do not know if I am making any sense right now. I am just afraid tonight. And I am reaching.

darkpurplesecrets