That's great input thanks @WovenGalaxy

I think maintenance is a good point. I think this is one area I am better in than in the past. I let a lot of contacts drift, I wasn't as good at keeping in touch especially when my family was young.

It's funny though I have a casual friend who I used to see a lot more with an activity we shared and we drifted apart. I texted her a while back and apologised for letting things drift but she texted back a friendly reply saying it was a 2 way thing and she also hadn't got in touch so no need to apologise but she was always happy to see me. It feels like there are friendships (less close) where sometimes contact can drift and it's okay.

I think closer friendship needs more work though like you say WG. And I agree there are definitely times when life gets busy and people can't stay in touch and respecting and understanding that is important.