Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael2Wolves
I perpetually look for that catalyst; the Pattern refuses to provide but for removing. Everyone leaves in the end. After my last ex, that was it. I have nothing left to give anymore. Therefore, there are no possibilities to increase. The proof of God's existence lay in the math. Every choice hurts myself because it's a pyrrhic choice. All choices are pyrrhic choices in my life. I don't need meds; I need to find my anodyne, only she doesn't exist. The particle and the wave...lol The duality of yin-yang, the two wolves, of black and white...I've tried to shift my perspective...and meds are artificial, gone as soon as you stop taking it so that's not really me, then, is it?
The cynicism has spawned spitefulness, and I fear that when the anodyne does come along, it will be yet another lure, impermanent and ephemeral, like trying to grasp sand.
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Speaking only of the Judeo-Christian tradition, God makes painfully clear again and again and again that He has ZERO interest in providing scientific data verifying His presence. He is never gonna do it. Never. He is interested in hearts. Souls. The eternal power of love. Not gigantic brains. He is waaay more impressed with a brittle schizophrenic homeless person struggling under the Steel Bridge and trying to pray to Him or read a tattered bible than He is by someone like Elon Musk or some other genius. not throwing shade on Elon, he may be fantastic.
God is after people who are willing to put their hearts on the line for something they believe and hope for and wish for and cannot even see. That is what impresses God, in my opinion. Not the Higgs Bison.
Hugs and love to you. Praying my *** off for you tonight!!!!#God loves you very much.