So I’ve come to the conclusion that a family member of mine may not be around much longer. Not covid related. But nonetheless they are already in a hospital. And while that is a risk on it’s own, I have ptsd. I can not stand being in a hospital, near a hospital , a parking lot of one nothing. The sounds, the smells, the noise makes me physically ill. I sweat. I shake. I panic, my mind races...I’m nauseous. Fainting/blacking out is a real possibility.....The last few times i “had” to go to a hospital but I was able to go with someone. These issues still occurred and each time i had to leave within a few minutes... with covid restrictions you are only allowed to visit one at a time and I don’t think I can go through with walking into a hospital alone....I am conflicted because I’d like to show my support and respect.... but at the same time this is one of the absolute triggers for me.... so far I’ve gotten away with making a phone call... but in the end i know my family would expect me to physically show up in person....